I have an idea. It's solid. A solid idea, forged on the anvil of what is my genius. Sports figures will no longer be accepted as a role models. Yes. A sportswriter biting the hand that feeds, but it's the truth.
The names keep adding up. From O.J. Simpson, Sport's original fall from grace toting Heisman Honors, NFL superstar status, and a Naked Gun movie so successful they filmed it three separate times. To Ex-Falcon Michael Vick. At one time the highest paid NFL player in the league, and first person to rush for 100 yards and throw for 250 in the same game can now be found hiding his Apple Juice in his cell to make jail-wine to pass the time on a 23-month prison term. And now: Roger Clemens and a huge majority of the MLB superstars of the last 10 years, whose steroid use to shatter MLB records has done nothing but augment the true awesomeness of the original records set.
Week after week, new chapters of the manly soap opera that we call Major League Baseball are penned with new scandals, investigations, and witty wordsmithing of the sports buzzword. Scandals? So what. Have things really ever changed in baseball? The 1914 Blacksox? Pete Rose? The Pittsburgh Drug Trials? Okay, that last scandal was a little before my time still was worthy of being called a scandal. A scandal which consisted of most of the Pittsburgh Pirates dugout, including the Pirate mascot, being convicted of abusing and selling cocaine to fellow MLB players. Gives new terms to the sports expression "Take a Blow." Its probably hard to enjoy the seventh inning stretch, when your mascot is spending more time slinging eightballs, than starting the wave.
Baseball fans have stuck around before. An 100+ years of stoic history has most fans anchored to the bedrock of ancient baseball tradition. Wearing a hat inside out to help my team rally from behind, cheering when an oafish security guard couldn't quite get his hands on an errant beach ball, bouncing in the cheap seats and avoiding knife fights in those same outfield seats at Dodger games in the early 90's have cemented my feet in baseball better than any Soprano goon could.
We have endured strikes. Corked bats and twiggy rookies morphing into Hulk-like characters with Popeye arms at the end of their careers, spanking home runs over fences in a manner that God did not intend.
We have all watched the past months, as a Rocket fizzles out of superstar jet fuel, crashing to earth with it's ego at the helm.
We still watch.
We watch as ancient curses are lifted. We watch as the balance of power shifts to Boston, as George Steinbrenner's checkbook fails to carry the same clout as that very Bambino that caused the now defunct BoSox curse.
Baseball still demands captive audiences. The same number of die hard fans fill the spring training stands, watching the worthless games with the same anxiety as any post-season game. And just as quick as the muscle bound record-setters retire to their pastures of anonymity hoping to avoid the media, fans and the truth, Opening Day is always a way to remind us of why we still watch.